grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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