She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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