Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
