four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
