one two three fourrrrnication!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
