ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
