Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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