well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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