It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just invented taco cereal.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
