I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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