i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
