It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
