Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you never un-have a 4some
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
