Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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