THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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