Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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