Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
