Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
