I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize