You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
