Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
