is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize