Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
