We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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