im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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