16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
