wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
