Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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