Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
