she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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