epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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