everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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