She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
