how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
