you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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