She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
