You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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