Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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