so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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