omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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