hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
