A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
