He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
