did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
