it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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