When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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