You made me cry and you don't even care
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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