Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
