just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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