and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
