I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
