My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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