He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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