Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
