he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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