if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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