That's intense
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
