I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
