return my video game
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
