talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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