Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
