how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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