She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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