So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He felt like a one man threesome
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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